STOP FUCKING WITH MY MIND
Feeling so Emo what the fuck.
Cant wait for something, I don’t know what it is but I just can’t wait. Hayyyy, it’s just so hard to be lingering around a restless environment, makes me more eager and makes it longer. You dig?
I got my SAT score. It’s a 1600, a hundred points above the average score. I wasn’t expecting anything higher but still I guess a part of me wanted more? Well it’s redundant and bullshit to say this because a part of me always wants more, that’s why I get disappointed easily. I always expect beyond expectations, if that even makes sense.
I think I need a hiatus? Even just one day. A break from the world and from everything. No internet, no phone, no anything. [?] Just to reckon things out, or maybe just have time alone for myself. I don’t know if it’s going to help but it’s worth the risk. I mean, what is there to lose?
I feel like I’m focusing on what people want from me instead of what I want. It’s just disappointing, okay? It’s complicated to the extreme and it’s tiring.
I used to feel beautiful, like, not model beautiful but I was satisfied with how my life was progressing. Eh, recently it’s just going down. Every thing seems to fall downhill.
Sometimes I get scared shitless. ‘Cause sometimes I tend to do things(senselessly) I’m not supposed to do. I get paranoid when people talk to me ‘cause I feel like I’ve done something wrong again. It’s kinda hackneyed, actually. But surprisingly, I’m not used to it.
It’s just really sad to think that I’m disappointed in myself. LOL. It’s easier to be disappointed in someone else but in myself? Bullshit, please.
I need to clear my thoughts. I seriously need to fucking clear my fucking mind before I do mind blowing decisions. Shut the fuck up and stop fucking with my mind.
NOT IN THE MOOD.
